Reba’s Wedding Picture (June 2016): Rebecca and Chase Thummel’s wedding day. Front row, Victoria Moore, David Wideman, and Lincoln Moore; middle row, Lauren Moore, Chase and Rebecca; back row, Truman Moore and Mike Wideman, the bachelor.
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Julia Wideman’s new book “Seasons Under Heaven: A Legacy of Faith” will have its first signing from 2-4 p.m. on Saturday, May 4, at Grant City Baptist Church Fellowship Hall.
Julia and her husband Donald Moore, son of Trudi Burton of Gallatin, had just begun a new journey in their life together when something life-changing happened that they didn’t expect and couldn’t have planned for. Donald was diagnosed with cancer. He would graduate from seminary school despite his illness. But he would never get to fulfill his dream of preaching.
Donald passed away in 2006. He left Julia a young widow with five small children.
After his death, Julia and her family were faced with devastating grief. Julia found comfort by writing down her story in a blog on a Christian website and sharing it with other bereaved widows. She hopes, for them, her story will prove a saving grace.
Donald and Julia married in 1994 and moved to Iowa, where they lived, worked, and started their family.
In 2001, Donald responded to God’s call to join the ministry. Their church family was not surprised to hear it; Donald loved the lord and studied his Bible.
After the birth of their fourth child in 2002, the family moved to Kansas City Midwest Baptist Theological Seminary. In 2003, they transferred to Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Fort Worth, Texas.
Both Donald and Julia were supporters of public education; both had educational degrees. Yet, when they got to Texas, they were moved to start home schooling their children.
That fall Donald started getting sick. It was a puzzle, since before seminary school he’d had a full physical which showed him in excellent health.
Shortly after their fifth child was born, the family car was totaled in an accident. Shortly after that, Donald was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma.
That began their cancer journey.
“We felt God was allowing us to go through this, to make us better people when we came through it,” Julia says. “We had full faith God was going to heal him.”
That seemed to be the case when Donald, after going through chemo treatments, was pronounced cancer free in 2004.
On Valentine’s Day 2005 Donald and Julia had hired a babysitter and were ready to go out to celebrate. They got a call from the doctor.
Julia recalls the moment: “The doctor came in with a nurse as a witness, threw Don’s chart on the table, crossed her arms, rolled her chair back and said, ‘I make mistakes, you make mistakes, we all make mistakes and a mistake has been made.’”
The “mistake” was a misdiagnosis. Donald had never actually been cancer free. In fact, his cancer had four months of unchecked growth.
“I knew I had to be mentally present in that moment and deal with emotions later,” Julia says.
She had enough presence of mind to take notes on a yellow legal pad, notes that were anything but encouraging … 50/50 chance of survival … possible bone marrow transplant … treatment plan … disability … he’ll be too sick to work …
“After talking to the doctor, I remember walking into the parking lot and feeling the oppression of the heat and our hearts,” Julia says. “Donald slammed his fist on the dash. We were so mad, so hurt. How could they make a mistake like that?”
Julia says that sometimes God speaks quietly to her. On this occasion, after she settled down, and was driving away from the hospital, God told her: You didn’t know about this, Donald didn’t know, the doctors didn’t know, but I’ve known all along.
“My anger, my grief was suddenly directed at God, I was so mad,” Julia says. “We thought all along that God was just ‘allowing’ this. Now we had to move to this being part of his active will, and boy I didn’t like that.”
Donald, who had been full-time at the seminary, continued on there as before. The five children being home schooled worked out to be a blessing.
“Everybody was at home during his treatments, and that saved us so much trouble,” Julia says.
Donald was sent to MD Anderson in Houston, Texas, a well known cancer hospital.
May of 2005 brought a ray of hope. Donald’s sister Kim was a perfect bone marrow match. Then came the clouds; the second round of cancer treatments weren’t working.
A friend gave them a diet book. It made no real health claims … “But we were willing to try anything, so we decided to try this,” Julia says.
They left Houston about the same time Hurricane Katrina struck. The only good that came of that was that the house they’d been given to use was moved into by a family left homeless by the hurricane.
Donald finished his classes at seminary and graduated in December 2005.
“We weren’t sure then where to go or what to do,” says Julia. “We were in a holding pattern.”
Donald went back to the medical clinic. Tests said cancer was prevalent throughout his body. The doctors gave him six months.
They decided to move back to Missouri to be close to both their families and have help with the children, who were now aged 11, 9, 8, 4 and 2.
Julia’s mother and Don’s mother came to Texas and moved the kids back.
The move back to Missouri for Julia and Donald was disastrous with a van breakdown and a borrowed van breakdown. The children at home had their own dramas, a broken toe, poison ivy, broken glasses …
They took it with their usual sense of humor and eventually made it home. Donald got to see the kids, the farm, the house. On August 14 of 2006, he passed away.
“The moment he passed and I stepped away from his bed, I felt peace,” says Julia. “I felt half of me go. That piece of Donald’s soul that was knit to me was gone. And God said to me: The marriage covenant is complete.”
That formal phrasing was something Julia would never have come up with herself. But upon reflection, she understood that God was talking about the marriage vows she and Donald had taken 12 years earlier: … to have and to hold, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part …
Julia says, “God was telling me I’d done my job, I’d kept my promise.”
It was at this point, Julia began to write her book about her journey into widowhood, a single parent of five young children. She began to write an online blog, ministering to other young widows.
The Bible says “God is husband to the widow.” She would learn over time what that meant.
“I started praying and my prayers were very specific,” Julia says. “I prayed about a job to support my family, about a house, and about a husband. I was 34 at the time and I didn’t want to be alone.”
Soon after, in 2008, Julia got a job teaching English at Worth County R-III school, but she still didn’t have a permanent home. One night in January 2008, she was reading her Bible when God spoke quietly to her and told her to read Jeremiah 29.
Jeremiah 1-4 talks about being exiled in Babylon.
“I was exiled in Denver, Missouri,” Julia says. “It was 12 miles for gas and groceries, and long distance anywhere you called.” But God placed Jeremiah 29:5 on Julia’s heart as a promise for a new home.
Soon after, a member of Missouri Baptist Builders contacted her. If she could provide the land and materials, they could build her and the kids a house.
In 2008, the builders broke ground. People from all over Iowa and Missouri helped put it together and by 2009 she was in a beautiful new home.
Now, about the husband. Specifically, Julia had prayed for a good Christian man, who wouldn’t mind a large family, who wasn’t married but wanted to be and (here’s the funny part) who lived in Worth County but wasn’t related to her.
In 2010 Julia ran for circuit clerk of Worth County. She wanted a job where she wasn’t overwhelmed with kids.
She canvassed the county drumming up votes. She came to an address where the plat map read: A bachelor lives here. She would find out later that after the other children moved away, “the bachelor” stayed home and cared for his father who had cancer, and then for his widowed mother.
She pulled into the driveway. The bachelor (Mike Wideman) was mowing the front yard with a sickle bar mower and a tractor. She gave him some brochures and that was that. She canvassed again. He was home again. Later, he sent a card wishing her good luck with the election. Not to her. To her mother, who was the county assessor.
Julia lost the election.
He kept sending cards. To her through her mother.
He was her biggest supporter so she took him cinnamon rolls in December. On Valentine’s day of 2011, he went to her house to deliver roses and chocolates.
“It was Valentine’s day that Donald was told his cancer had come back,” she says. “In a way the day marks the anniversary of his death.”
But this wasn’t a sad Valentine’s day. The bachelor told her he’d like to call on her that spring when he got done calving.
They were married on August 4.
Was he “specifically” the husband she’d prayed for? Well, he was one of seven children, so he didn’t mind a big family. He was a good Christian. And she wasn’t related to him.
Julia will launch sale of her new book “Seasons Under Heaven: A Legacy of Faith” from 2-4 p.m. on Saturday, May 4, at Grant City Baptist Church Fellowship Hall.
The first 50 books will be available for free, first come, first serve, one per household.
Julia will be on hand to share a reading and sign books.
2005: Though he appears healthy, it took a great deal of effort for Donald Moore to walk the short distance from his vehicle to this picturesque location on the campus of SWBTS in Fort Worth, Texas. Pictured left to right are, front row, Victoria Moore, 7, Truman Moore, 8, Lauren Moore, 3, Lincoln Moore, 2; back row, Julia, Donald, and Rebecca, 10.