The seat of luxury

Gadgets keep getting smarter these days. I worry that we’re not.

Now, in the name of progress, there’s an internet-connected app that allows you to flush a toilet with a voice command. No foolin’.

Maybe such things no longer strike you as strange. But sounds do get a bit strange when you’re alone in the bathroom. I know. Since the first of the new year I spent the better part of a week running to and fro in dire need of the restroom, and I guarantee nobody would want to hear anything that went on in there.

Every smart device in your home allows advertisers to target you more precisely than ever before. And I suppose nothing is excluded, not even the toilet.

Of course, companies say they build these products not for snooping but for our convenience. The new smart toilet I read about not only flushes by voice command but can also raise or lower the lid. That’s ironic. It’s all about selling “hands-free” convenience yet designed for use in a setting that’s about as personally hands-on as you can get.

I used to marvel about the progress my grandparents’ generation witnessed during their span in the first eight decades of the 20th Century. I’d think about the Wright Brothers’ first flight in 1902, setting the stage for the space flight putting the first man on the moon by 1969. Or think about electricity. In 1906 the General Electric Company was the first to patent a method of making tungsten filaments for use in incandescent light bulbs, a step leading to today’s LED lights and solar power.

Or think about television, from the first television drama aired in 1930 in London, England, to the mammoth plasma screens now commonplace in so many households.

And what’s this generation talking about? Voice command toilets.

Granted, smart toilets are a considerable improvement over the outhouse at the little country church where I grew up or the 2-holer located next to the garden on grandpa’s farm. I read where flush toilets were invented in 1596 but didn’t become widespread until 1851. For many more decades most people were familiar with communal outhouses, chamber pots and even holes in the ground before the availability of water converted toilets into a daily luxury we take for granted.

But just when you thought things have gone just about as far as they can go, enter the voice command toilet … which is also heated and can play music and the news through its speakers!

All sorts of voice-enabled products are all the rage. Now you can buy a refrigerator that comes with an app that lets you check on its contents while you’re grocery shopping. There’s also a toothbrush that can recommend where you should brush more.

By emphasizing convenience, these smart gadgets using digital interfaces make you forget that whatever you choose is being monitored. It’s something to ponder, the next time you settle down to “rest” on the throne all by yourself to rest for a spell. Consider this: If you’re using one of these new apps, are you really alone?

Don’t misunderstand me. It’s not all bad. There’s also a new smartphone app that lets you control how the room smells through a fragrance diffuser. I suppose that measures both before entering the bathroom and when you exit. Now that’s progress!

What’s next?