(*what Facebook grandparents forget to ask)

Here’s another sign we’re in the end times. Now there’s a survey measuring advice that grandkids want to give to their grandparents.

The survey I read about was conducted by Visiting Angels, one of the nation’s largest in-home senior care companies. I suppose it spawned from the reality some of us senior citizens face when trying to reach out to grandkids for holiday gift suggestions — only to learn they don’t respond to phone calls and the best way to get a little face time is to interface, using a smart phone.

My own kids tell me Facebook just doesn’t cut it anymore if you’re trying to tap into the lives of teenagers and youth. That’s what makes the survey results interesting to me — what it reveals about us older and “wiser” hipsters (think rheumatism). Anyway, here’s what every Facebook jockey should know (*but apparently are too self-absorbed to ask):

Cut out TMI

1 in 4 respondents say their grandparents post TMI (too much information) about their love life, social life or SEX LIFE.

More than 1/3 say grandma or grandpa post dirty laundry about family feuds or finances.

Don’t Rant & Rave

1 out of 5 grandchildren say Grammy goes “Emoji crazy” in comments or posts.

33% of respondents say they don’t like when grandparent(s) get too political or go holy roller, posting too much about religion (28%),

Keep Off Personal Turf​​

1 in 4 respondents say it’s not cool when Grandma tries to friend THEIR friends.

30% of grandkids say it’s embarrassing when Mimi or Pops posts personal comments in public places, like THEIR timeline.

Half of those surveyed say they don’t want grandparents commenting on their social life.

And a big NO NO:  Almost 1 in 4 grandkids say please, grandma, don’t comment about my appearance – whether it’s my hair, weight or clothes!

Cut the Doom, Gloom & Guilt

25% of grandkids say they do not like to see grandparents post that they are lonely, unhappy, sick or sad.

1 out of 5 respondents say they don’t like to see comments about grandparents’ health, medical issues or procedures.

1 in 4 say they feel guilty when grandma posts “Why don’t you visit or call more?”

Forget Acting Cool

22% say it’s not cool when grandma or gramps tries to act cool (and one respondent said he wants to hide when grandparents “COMMENT IN ALL CAPS”).

All this got me to thinking about my own grandma at Christmastime. Her biggest media worries were making sure nobody listening in during her party line telephone conversations were embarrassed by anything she said … or settling the argument between me and my sister when our favorite TV shows (on a 17-inch black/white RCA TV set) happened to be scheduled at the same time on two of the three broadcast stations.

Actually, I’ve sat here quite a while trying to remember a special Christmas present from grandma. What first comes to mind is her Divinity, a homemade candy that set up rock hard — and hardly anything I ever asked for. But it was part of the tradition I now cherish … just like actually going out to the back 40 to cut a cedar from the fence row for our Christmas tree, coming back to warm up with hot chocolate and sticky-sweet popcorn balls — and warm rolls fresh out of the oven dripping with grandma’s homemade jellies. Oh, and those sugar cookies!

Try emailing that.

My grandma would never be confused with someone I thought was cool or socially connected — not through the eyes of a youngster, a teenager, or with these eyes now moistening with all the memories flooding back. She was much, much more. How do you describe unconditional love wearing a garden bonnet or bending low in a flour-smudged apron, arms outstretched and smiling and wanting me to return her hug? She gave me such memories.

If my generation is screwing this up, then I only hope the millennials will ponder the survey to learn from our mistakes and perhaps hearken back to the things that made America great.

Norman Rockwell liked grandparents. He saw them for what they are. There’s a solid wholesomeness in what Normal Rockwell painted, the emotions and traditions about us that I see in people living here around me every day. I’m talking about realities, not something you can fake to cover embarrassments or quickly add as an attachment to some impulse you tweet out.

Being a grandparent (and many times over if you’re a parent) requires more. Love is more than that. Love means prioritizing things. Love is an investment that takes time. Love is all that matters.

The survey says to us grandparents to remember: “It’s Not About Me.”

I can’t even comprehend why anyone would need to tell my grandmother the things the survey says. It was always the other way around  … my grandma helping me learn these things by her loving deeds. Although I fail and fail too often, that’s the standard of the grandparent I want to be.

The next few weeks before Christmas offer a very special opportunity to take your place in the next family portrait of Christmas your little ones will remember, whatever scene that may be. It’s not about money or being chic or what you can wrap up in some box they’ll probably forget about. How you will be painted will be determined much by what you decide to do (and not do), don’t you agree?

Let’s give them our best. Consistently and over time, true love takes care of the rest.