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Dow Lamar of Jamesport laid eyes on his daughter for the first time in 60 years last Thursday, April 3. Sherry Ann was one-and-a-half-years-old the last time he saw her.
There’s been a lot of worrying and wondering in the years between, but both father and daughter say they couldn’t be happier now that they’re reunited.
Dow and his first wife Bonnie Varnell were young when they met and their marriage only lasted about two years. After their divorce, Bonnie took her small daughter Sherry, 1 1/2, and moved to Texas where she married Pete Lam, Jr and started a new life. Her second husband brought Sherry up as his own and she did not know any different.
Sherry was in her twenties before her grandmother told her about Dow. Just like that, Sherry found out her father was her step-father and her biological father lived somewhere in Missouri.
"It was very traumatic," said Sherry. "I already had a daddy. I had a little sister. I didn’t realize that was not the way it was. I was shocked."
She did not try to contact Dow. She thought it would be hurtful to the father who’d raised her and only wanted what was best for her and with whom she was very close.
In the meantime, some of Dow’s family that lived in Oklahoma kept up with Bonnie. In 2000 a member of that family gave Dow’s address to Sherry.
"I looked at that piece of paper with his address on it and put it away," said Sherry. "I wasn’t ready."
Life went on. Sherry taught special education for 25 years at Gatesville. She and her husband, Pat, were married 40 years and had two children, Lanelle and Billy Clay.
Sometimes Pat would say to her, "Call your dad, Sherry. You’ll regret it if you don’t."
Sherry would just put her hand up to get him to stop talking about it.
Her father passed away in 1995 and her husband passed away in 2002. Sherry could not bring herself to clean out her husband’s desk. But earlier this year, she did decide to go through his desk. She opened a drawer and there was that piece of paper with Dow’s address on it.
"My husband had kept it for me," said Sherry. "And that’s when I decided — it was time."
In Dow’s home in Jamesport there is a large framed picture and tucked in one corner of the frame is a smaller picture of a little, curly-headed girl. Dow said he has always had that picture.
When, through the years, his sons, Steven or Earl, asked Dow who the baby in the picture was, Dow told them it was their sister, Sherry Ann. But when they asked what happened to her, Dow had to tell them he didn’t know, he’d lost touch.
All that changed when he received a message on his answering machine earlier this year: "My name is Sherry Hopson. I’d like to talk to you."
Dow’s friend, Daisy Pierce, said Dow played the message over and over, saying, "The only Sherry I know is Sherry Ann."
Sherry was not happy with that message she left, so she wrote Dow a card which explained things better: "My name is Sherry Hopson. My mother was Bonnie Varnell. I was born in Checotah, Okla., on Oct. 10, 1946. Are you my dad? If so, I’d love to hear from you. God bless you." She left her phone number.
Two days after she’d mailed the card, Dow called.
"I was not expecting him to call back that quickly," said Sherry. "That came as a total surprise."
Dow called her Sherry Ann, the only other person, besides her late mother, to call her that. Then Dow said, "This is your dad."
After that Dow had to give the phone to Daisy, while he regained his composure.
"He told me he was coming to Texas," said Sherry. "I said, ‘That’s fine. But I’m coming to Missouri.’"
It took Sherry two or three weeks to make plans for the trip. And also to make a decision.
"It was a big step," she said.
She put all of her reservations aside and pulled up in front of Dow’s house on Thursday, April 3.
"I got out of the car and was unpacking a few things," she said. "I heard somebody hollering, ‘Sherry Ann.’ Dow was standing in the rain in the middle of the road."
Dow, 84, and Sherry, 61, had a lot of catching up to do.
"I think my silver hair surprised him," said Sherry. "He was expecting the blond curls in the picture."
Meeting Dow has explained some things for Sherry, like physical characteristics. There have been some quirky similarities in their lives. Dow worked in maintenance at the Jamesport school and drove a school bus. Sherry drove a school bus while she was teaching. She’s retired and now works part time as a vocational counselor.
Sherry is also from a small farming community called Mound in Coryell County, which is about 40 miles west of Waco in the center of Texas. She has lived on the same place for 42 years. Mound is smaller than Jamesport. All it has is a post office, a volunteer fire department, a Baptist Church and a few hundred people.
Dow filled Sherry in, telling her that he and his second wife, Mary, were married for 43 years before she passed away in 2004. They worked as a team, driving dump trucks for 20 years.
Mary had been married before to Albert Wright who died in 1959. Thursday evening, Sherry met her half-brother, Steven Dow Lamar, and her step-brother, Earl Wayne Wright.
"We kind of looked at each other, big smiles," said Sherry. "When I reached out to shake Steven’s hand, he wouldn’t have any of that. He gave me a big hug. Then I hugged Earl Wayne."
They spent several hours visiting and finding out about one another.
"Since the time I was a little girl, I’ve had friends who had brothers. I always wished I had a brother," said Sherry. "I’ve got two of them now."
Sherry Ann has a half sister back in Texas, Gloria Jean Fairchild. She has two children and four grandchildren, named Kyanne (20), Grayson (17), Patrick (10) and Allison (8).
"Dow’s family has expanded tremendously," she said.
Sherry said meeting with Dow was painful, but rewarding, and she wished they had gotten together sooner.
"We have really wasted a lot of time," she said.
Sherry returned to Texas Monday afternoon. She hopes to be back later this summer with some of her family. The boys may take Dow to Texas.
After 60 years of being apart, the father-daughter bond has quickly been re-established.
"We’ve had a mighty fine time," said Dow.
"The man who raised me was truly a wonderful, loving, and nurturing father," said Sherry. "Now that he has passed away, I have found another dad! I am so blessed to experience the love of two fathers in my lifetime."