by Joe Snyder
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If you would like to know why America is in trouble, read the following from various sources:
I got a call from a candidate’s staffer who wanted to go to Capetown. I tried to explain the length of the flight and the need for a passport but she interrupted with, "I’m not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response – click.
A Vermont congressman called, furious about a Florida travel package we did. I asked what was wrong about Orlando. He said he was expecting and ocean-view room. I tried to explain that’s not possible since Orlando is in the middle of the state. "Don’t lie to me," he said. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state."
I got a call from a lawmaker’s wife who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said "No." She said, "But they look so close on the map."
A congresswoman called because she needed to know how it was possible her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m. and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn’t understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went very fast and she bought that.
A New York lawmaker called and asked: "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose baggage belongs to whom?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied: "When I checked in and tagged my luggage that said (FAT), and I’m overweight. I think that is very rude!" I put her on hold and, laughing, told her the code for Fresno CA is (FAT) and the airline was just following the rules.
A senator’s aide called about a trip to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, She asked: "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"
A senator called about a trip to China. After discussing passports I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don’t. I’ve been to China many times and never needed one. I checked and sure enough he needed one. When I told him this he said: "I’ve been to China four times and every time they’ve accepted my American Express!"
A New Mexico congresswoman called for reservations. "I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York." I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said: "Are you sure that’s the name of the town." "Yes, what flights do you have?" After searching I came back with "I’m sorry. I’ve looked up every airport code in the country and can’t find Rhino anywhere. The lady retorted: "Oh don’t be silly! Everybody knows where it is. Check your map!" So I scoured the map of New York state and finally suggested, "By chance you don’t mean Buffalo, do you?" The reply was, "Whatever… I knew it was a great big animal?"
Now you know why our government is in the shape that it’s in.