The Box of Treasures

It was a day like many others. My grandmother, who I had spent many weeks with as a child, had just passed away, and we were trying to get accustomed to the thought that she was no longer with us. Nora Bennett Dethrow, my grandma, was a devout Freewill Baptist, and she, along with grandpa (Lee D. Dethrow) had sung in revivals, church services, camp meetings, and other gatherings, all over Oregon County, Mo., and the adjoining counties.

I was to learn later that people came to the meetings just to hear them sing when some would not otherwise darken a church door. Now, she and Grandpa were gone, and I was lost as to what I would do without them.
It was during this time, that my mother came to me with a box, it was a box of treasures. The box was filled and overflowing with funeral booklets, newspaper clippings, old pictures and said, "Here! You’ll care more about these that anyone else," and promptly dumped them in my lap. Mom was right. The box was a goldmine of history resources for the family researcher. Grandma had saved pictures and clippings for years, of people unknown to me. I came to picture after picture, and when I asked, Mom only said, "that’s a cousin," or an aunt, a grandparent, or even a surprise "oh, that’s…"

I became enthralled, and obsessed with knowing about those who still had a connection to me, although gone. One picture of a small petite woman who reminded me of a movie’s version of a "witch" interested me. When asked, it was answered "Granny Bennett." Huh? Granny Bennett was my mother’s grandma who chewed snuff and who had owned the snuff box that Mom had now safely stored in the china cabinet. And so, it began.
While researching, I’ve come across those whose name I carry, whose facial features are mine, whose spunkiness and humor would put mine to shame, whose strength and courage during troubling times, makes me marvel at their determination to survive. I have regretted not taking an interest in family history before my grandparents and other older relatives passed, a regret held by the majority of family historians. There’s so much that could have been learned had I taken the time.

Had I taken the time earlier, I would have realized sooner why Granny Bennett, my great grandmother, was a temper filled hateful old woman. I softened towards her when I learned that Granny’s mother had become ill and died on the trail in their migration to the area when Granny was a small child. Granny’s older brothers were ill, and the family, poor. To help her brothers, Granny’s father had traded Granny to another family, unknown to Granny, for medical supplies to help her brothers.

Her sad realizations to know that she was not as important to her father as her brothers, and that she was worth only the price of medical supplies to save her brothers made her angry and distrustful of people, I’m sure. It carried with her through her life. This knowledge caused me to have more compassion and pity for her and more tolerance for a person of today who may be as hateful and intolerant of others as Granny. We can all learn from our past.
Researching my family back to the1600s, I wrote family history books and received awards for them. I became a member of DAR, and we started having family reunions. I met cousins I didn’t know I had prior to that box of treasures, and I became good friends with many of those cousins. Grandma passed on to me a legacy more important than money or fame. Her legacies of her faith in God and her care about one’s family history and heritage are far greater than anything else she could have given me.
Do yourself and your family a favor! Take the time NOW, to learn from your elder family generations and their past. Write down all you know, and share with other members. If you have a special event coming up, consider putting all your family history in a book. Our elder generations love that someone has taken the time to care about their past. If you don’t know how to do it but want to do it for that special loved one, contact me. I’d love to help you as I have helped others in finding the answers to those in your box of treasures.
Lanita can be contacted at [email protected] or call 660-684-6174. Meanwhile, she continues to research those who are connected to those found in her box of treasures.