Are you dating someone who is jealous and possessive, loses their temper quickly, or brags about mistreating others?
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by Emily Michener
GHS FCCLA President
Are you dating someone who is jealous and possessive, loses their temper quickly, or brags about mistreating others? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you’re not alone. One in three teenagers has experienced violence in a dating relationship. Dating violence is when one partner thinks they need to maintain power and have control through abuse.
Many teenagers are ashamed of this type of relationship and try to hide it. They might be inexperienced with dating relationships or influenced through peer pressure. Some teens might just want independence from their parents and families, and their partner is the next best thing.
Teenagers are often influenced by how they look at themselves and how they look at others. Young men often believe that since they are the males in the relationship, they have the right to “control” their partners. Some males might also have an unusual bond with their friends, and might feel they will lose their respect if they are showing support toward their girlfriend. Young women think they have the responsibility to solve all the relationship problems. Most think that their boyfriend’s possessiveness is “romantic” in a way, and that abuse is normal because their friends are also being abused.
Here are some interesting statistics that might surprise you. Thirty to fifty percent of female high school students have already experienced violence in a dating relationship. Sixty-eight percent of young women that have experienced date rape knew their rapist as either a boyfriend or a friend. In 1995, 7% of murder victims were young women killed by their boyfriends. Although this violence can be done by both the male and female, 95% of reported abuse is male violence toward women.
There are many ways to indicate if your partner might be the violent type. Some of these early warning signs include: extreme jealousy, quick involvement, being verbally abusive, threatening violence, or even cruelty to animals or children. Another sign is if your partner tries to isolate you from friends and family.
There are some ways to tell if teenagers are being abused in a relationship. The main way is if there are physical signs of injury. Other ways to tell are if their grades are failing, if they start having continuous emotional outbreaks, or if they isolate themselves from everyone around them.
If you are worried that this might happen to you, here are some actions you can take to be aware. If it is your first time meeting this person, you might consider going on a double date with a friend of yours. Also, you need to be straightforward in your relationship, make sure someone knows you plans at all times, and always trust your instincts.
Although you may not know anyone personally that is being abused in a relationship, does not mean that this is not happening around you. You need to be prepared and know what you can do in this type of situation, because as you can see, teen-dating violence is pretty common all over the United States. If you need help, call The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY).