Missouriana

by Jack Stapleton, Jr.

*Discovering logic in today’s world is increasingly more difficult when studies find the more overweight the residents, the poorer the state.

*How long will it be before professional athletes create a new television show featuring the numerous jocks who engage in public brawls?

*The reason U.S. forces have been unable to locate bin Laden may be because he’s hiding out among Saddam’s weapons of mass destruction.

*If Missouri’s public health officials are serious about curbing cigarette use, they will seek an emergency appropriation to hire a few hundred nagging wives.

*An old-timer is anyone who remembers when it cost less to keep children in school for a whole year than to pay for all the supplies they must have by opening day.

*The nicest part of August in odd-numbered years is realizing that it will be another year before we’re being bombarded by political campaign commercials.