by Jack Stapleton, Jr.
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by Jack Stapleton, Jr.
*Defense officials are still determining whether Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction were really tornado attacks across Missouri, Kansas, Arkansas and Tennessee.
*It won’t be long until the state’s “legislative soldiers” will return home from duty in Jefferson City. Citizens are still waiting for a report on how many battles were won.
*It may take years to develop a vaccine for SARS, scientists warn. In the meantime, international flight crews should learn how to overcome loneliness.
*The only good news about the SARS epidemic is that anyone infected isn’t in any doubt that he or she isn’t feeling well enough to go to work.
*Whoever said talk is cheap didn’t realize France will lose more than $500 million this year from American tourist boycotts.
*Iraq’s Republican Guard scattered at the end of the war, while America’s Republican Guard maintains its complete control of the White House and both chambers of Congress.
* We’re still waiting for the Missouri Legislature to declare sinus infection as the state’s official disease.