Missouriana

by Jack Stapleton, Jr.

*Here’s hoping that when America’s wars against Iraq, Iran and Korea are over, we can get back to fighting the old ones against drugs, poverty, poor schools and inflation.

*In the long run, Missouri’s deplorable highways are increasing state revenue by keeping residents from traveling too far outside Show-Me borders.

*Gov. Holden’s current efforts to boost his progress programs have been slowed by the lack of progress of his highway programs.

*The troubling effects of increasing medical research include the risk of finding a new disease that’s much worse than ones already being researched.

*Word definitions vary between generations: Spam is viewed as a nuisance by today’s computer users and yesterday’s diners at military mess halls.

*If medical science continues at its present rate, future generations will no longer be born in hospitals but in petri dishes.

*Symptoms of SARS sound suspiciously like the ones you described to the boss one morning when you overslept.