Missouriana

by Jack Stapleton, Jr.

*If the French won’t support the Bush plan for getting rid of Saddam Hussein, the least they could do is stop sending us all their second-rate wine.

*Saudis say gas prices in America would be higher if it weren’t for their efforts to hold down prices, which would have been lower if they hadn’t supplied all the 9/11 terrorists.

*If Tony Blair loses his prime minister post because of his support of America’s anti- Saddam efforts, maybe he could get a White House job holding George W’s coat.

*Americans appear divided over the efficacy of the Bush war plan, which would seem to call for the question to be put to a vote like the one held in Florida back in 2000.

*Missouri has had such deplorable climate since the first of the year that if it weren’t for snow, sleet, ice, cold and strong winds, we wouldn’t have any weather at all.

*The job of serving as governor may seem glamorous but put yourself in the position and consider how discouraging it would be to have to work in an office where nothing worked.

*As the guide said to the lost motorist: “You’ll know you’re in Missouri when you hit the first pot hole.”