Missouriana

by Jack Stapleton, Jr.

*Although often criticized for wasteful spending, accusations seem to disappear when a Department of Transportation snow plow shows up on the road in front.

*Given the weather we’ve been having, why doesn’t Bush blame Hussein for releasing weapons of mass cold and snow?

*Some terrorists are extremely clever at being anonymous, taking names so difficult to pronounce and spell that not even network commentators can manage.

*Between colors designating current terrorist threats and announcement of another gas price increase, Americans pretty well have their own version of the axis of evil.

*An old-timer is any Missourian who can remember when Capitol officials were lined up just waiting to announce another new program by the state.

*It’s reported that some would-be candidates next year already have printed placards quoting their opponents’ statements favoring state support for a new Cardinal baseball stadium.

*Dick Gephardt says he’s proud to be running for president as a candidate from Missouri, nullifying his earlier plan for St. Louis to secede from the state