Missouriana

by Jack Stapleton, Jr.

*With George W. the certain Republican presidential nominee next year, Americans will be spared at least half of the agony of next year’s convention-delegate elections.

*Given the great increase in multibillion-dollar state budget shortfalls, future chief executives will need the talents of Kenneth Lay to keep programs alive.

*It’s great that electronic engineers are producing better and better video systems but no one’s doing anything about the quality of the programs being shown.

*A middle-aged Missourian is someone who can remember when state government operated on a budget that was less than next year’s expected deficit.

*The best approach for solving the state’s budget problem is to turn the job over to the same people who last year said a new baseball stadium would benefit Missouri.

*The best way to undermine the Iraqi economy would be to send Baghdad an economic recovery team consisting of the top executives of Enron, WorldCom and United Airlines.

*George W. Bush’s economic recovery plan basically calls for a return to the policies of the Clinton administration.