Missouriana

by Jack Stapleton, Jr.

*Saddam Hussein agrees to a resumption of arms inspections, which is reminiscent of used auto salesmen who promise their car will pass state inspection.

*U.S. officials are still trying to determine if Saddam is telling the truth. Now they know how American voters feel during every election campaign.

*George W. Bush blames the Iraqi problem on Bill Clinton, who blamed it on George’s father who didn’t have a culprit so he had to blame it on the weather.

*A clever football coach facing a losing season with a poor team can always blame it on one of the Bushes, Clinton, Arab terrorists or if no one buys these, Bob Holden.

*Poor Florida. It seems the state can’t hold an election without voting problems, can’t find anything for Janet Reno to do and can’t keep the governor’s kids out of trouble.

*A spokesman for the company that manufactures them says everyone will soon have a cell telephone, which if memory serves was the same claim by Ford when it introduced the Edsel.

*Since all Americans seem to be taking medicine, the most vulnerable terrorist target now is a pharmaceutical plant.