Missouriana

Quips by Jack Stapleton, Jr.

*It’s reported that nearly 34 million visited Missouri in the last fiscal year and that’s not counting those who took up permanent residence at highway detours.

*Missouri has been plagued in recent weeks by storms, flooding and high winds, with no relief in sight until final adjournment of the General Assembly.

*The nation’s worst scandals recently have been the Enron collapse and the Catholic priest misadventures — both the result of poor auditing.

*The St. Louis Cardinals could win the World Series every year if their players had as much hustle as proponents of a new baseball stadium.

*A 21-year-old college student travels 1,500 miles to place pipe bombs in mail boxes — making it the longest postal route in the history of the U.S. Post Office.

*If everything is up to date in Kansas City, as the song claims, then Missourians can expect another new-stadium proposal next year.

*Our state’s tourist attractions include a psychiatric museum — just the ticket for vacationing parents with five kids.