Missouriana

Quips by Jack Stapleton, Jr.

* Depending on which expert you happen to be listening to, Missouri’s highway system is either in a dangerous condition or unsafe for traffic.

* One of the advantages of being a member of the Missouri General Assembly is you’ll never have to give up your salary and expense increases just because there’s a revenue shortage.

* If the Olympic Games were really an “international sporting event” how come the big news of the day was always how many gold medals American athletes had won?

* Enron’s collapse may have been a financial disaster for thousands of investors but it sure helped the rest of us appreciate the genius of corporate bookkeeping.

* Supreme Court justices promise to hand down a decision on school vouchers in four months, a slightly longer time than they needed to name George W. president.

* Although he’s generally viewed as a good Methodist, Bush’s Democratic critics in Congress score him for using four-letter words, such as “axis,” “veto” and “y’all.”

* No wonder there are so many health-care plans being advanced: Americans are sick of higher and higher medical costs.