Coonridge Digest: Right, wrong, hair-brained or profound

Greetin’s from the Ridge.

You always knew where you stood with Florence. Florence Johnson was the most opinionated woman who ever walked the Ridge and there was hardly a subject about which she wouldn’t pronounce an opinion…right, wrong, hair-brained or profound.

I’m sure that modern psychologists would today diagnose her as havin’ a brain to tongue disorder. The time lapse between Florence getting’ a thought and her tellin’ us what she thought could be measured in gnat’s hairs. This made Florence not only one of the most interestin’ people I ever knew but by far the most honest. In fact, a listener at Florence’s coffee table would soon realize that his own truthfulness was stepped up a notch or two when in the midst of such earnest conversation. Honesty breeds honesty.

It’s a pity she never got to meet Colin Powell. In this world where the truth falls prey to he Little Boy Who Cried Wolf syndrome, we can’t even believe the truth when we hear it. Congress, business, education, sports, entertainment…all so busy doctorin’ their spin that the actual gist of the matter is not only obscured but frankly we lose interest in the truth altogether.

Secretary of State Powell had the audacity to go on MTV to answer questions from young people. That in itself is a startlin’ breath of fresh air from Washington. He fielded the kids’ questions on everything from drugs to Afghanistan…all without a script or prior knowledge of the questions to be asked. Then somebody asked him about condom use and he had the audacity to tell them what he thought, sayin’ that he encouraged it for sexually active young folks and to prevent the spread of AIDS.

The fax machines of the religious right began to smoke..then fume..then finally caught fire in a torrent of criticism. How dare a member of the Bush administration publicly proclaim such a thing? How dare the Secretary of State contradict the President’s policy on abstinence as the best remedy? How dare he be so honest as to say, "It is important that the whole international community come together, speak candidly about it, forget about taboos, forget about conservative ideas with respect to what you should tell young people about." His remarks were called "irresponsible and reckless." Gary Bauer, former Republican Presidential candidate and president of American Values, openly said that Powell should change his views simply because he’s a member of the Bush administration. He said, on "public health issues, he should follow the lead of the Bush administration, which he serves." In other words, no matter what Colin Powell thinks, he should lie and say what the President thinks..or says he thinks..he thinks he said.

Lord, Lord what have we come to? No matter how you stand on birth control and believe me, I’m confused, surely we still stand for honesty.

Don’t we? Then-Surgeon General David Satcher had the nerve to announce the results of a study that abstinence-only teaching has been a complete failure. The spin-doctors in the White House were quick to point out that he was appointed by the Clinton administration.

I could care less what the Secretary of State thinks about young folks havin’ sex. It’s not his job to be the expert on this. In fact, I often wonder just how far the White House ought to stumble into our bedrooms.

But if a smart man’s got an opinion, let’s throw it into the mix with everything else we know. I’ve gained enough ignorance on my own. Don’t purposely foist more onto me by formin’ a line of talkin’ puppets. If the boys in Washington are against the idea of cloning then why in the heck do they want to produce an entire administration of animated tape recorders?

Of course within a day’s time, Bush spokesfolks claimed that actually Powell’s statements weren’t really what we heard and that the General truly was in line with administration thinking. What’d they do, take him to the woodshed?

And nobody in the whole week of spin and counter spin mentioned that in this fiscal year the administration is actually spendin’ $12 billion on education, prevention, treatment and research related to HIV/AIDS, almost $1 billion of which is distributed to the states for programs that may include discussion of…gasp!…protected sex. Oops. Sorry General.

Makes me wonder whether Harry Truman could get a job cleanin’ the carpet of the oval office. If he found a greasy footprint he’d have to keep it to himself in order to keep in line with the current administration’s thinking.

On the other hand, he probably could have told Florence. She’d want to know the truth of the matter.

You ever in Coonridge, stop by. We may not answer the door but you’ll enjoy the trip.