Quips by Jack Stapleton Jr.
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Quips by Jack Stapleton Jr.
* Headline: “Missourians Want Fewer Exceptions to No-Call Measure.” How could state officials have overlooked mothers-in-law and wrong numbers?
* A woman in the St. Louis area reports her husband has been missing for 10 days. That’s nothing: Al Gore has been missing for more than 11 months.
* State officials are commended by Washington for their efforts to improve home security. Gov. Bob Holden added another lock on the Mansion door to keep GOP terrorists out.
* Scientists say NASA researchers haven’t proved the claim there’s life on Mars. To make matters worse, the FBI can’t prove there’s a terrorist somewhere in Trenton, N.J.
* How long will it be before Hollywood produces a movie called “The Twenty-five Million Dollar Man” starring Osama bin Laden and an all-star Taliban cast?
* One advantage of being a state official who dies in office: it won’t be any time at all before a special election is called to fill your shoes.
* Wouldn’t’ it be strange if Bin Laden’s threat of a bomb was referring to Regis Philbin?