Traditional Thanksgiving turkey

by Denny Banister

Americans each year at Thanksgiving have a traditional Thanksgiving feast, The traditional meat served is turkey, we don’t feast on just any beast.

How did the turkey gain its place on our traditional Thanksgiving table?

Because that’s what the pilgrims feasted upon according to fact and fable.

Now we’ve all heard how they hunted the bird, but I know the real rendition, Our forefathers’ gunpowder was damp that day, they were hunting with bad ammunition.

The men marched forward toward the woods, their ranks had one addition, They took along an Indian scout, you guessed it – it was tradition.

Some hours later, deep in the forest, our hunters were being harassed, By the Indian scout who mocked their skills – the pilgrims were very embarrassed.

One spotted an elk, took careful aim, pulled back the trigger – CLICK!!

They discovered damp gunpowder would not fire, the realization made them sick.

What could they have for their Thanksgiving feast, on what would they that night sup?

One of the lads said, “Let’s stew our shoes, I’m famished – I’ll gobble it up!!!”

They were in no mood for jokes, and one of the blokes flung his musket into the field, Just as old Tom Turkey, who heard the “gobble”, jumped up – his fate was sealed.

What senses he had were knocked out that day, the turkey was plucked stuffed and roasted, In exchange for his silence the Indian was fed while the hunters exaggerated and boasted.

They truthfully said they didn’t fire a shot, they had no need for ammunition.

That’s why today we raise turkeys on farms – to shoot them would break with tradition.

The producers of food from the Missouri Farm Bureau want to wish you a happy Thanksgiving, As to the quality of my poetry, what can I say – it’s a living.

So Banister’s poetry isn’t the greatest, I did as good as I could, I was inspired by one of the very best, but Charles, I’m not nearly Os- Good.

(Denny Banister of Jefferson City, Mo., is assistant director of information and public relations for the Missouri Farm Bureau, the state’s largest farm organization.)