Quips by Jack Stapleton Jr.
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Quips by Jack Stapleton Jr.
* Wouldn’t it be nice if America returned to the ‘40s era when everybody was our gallant ally — except the people who are now our friends.
* Historians won’t be able to say civilization hasn’t advanced in the new millennium — we have new weapons that are twice as destructive as those in the last one.
* Their religion tells Muslim fanatics they can’t come in contact with pork. This opens up a whole new vista of warfare: ham grenades.
* U.S. bombs are incredibly smart and better educated than the average high school graduate. At least they can find Afghanistan on the map.
* If Americans are unduly worried about personal safety, they might hang around players for the Kansas City Chiefs who still manage to play after being slaughtered every weekend.
* President Bush said the other day that “America will destroy its enemies and peace will prevail once again.” It’s probably wise not to use his dad’s old speeches.
* The airlines report business is terrible. The good news is that the flight insurance business has never been better.