Missouriana

* How about sending some of those people on TV’s survivor shows over to Afghanistan to see how they can handle the Taliban cannibals?

* So far no one has ever provided any reliable information on who does bin Laden’s laundry or where he takes his robes to be dry cleaned.

* Status-seeking politicians risk being removed from The List of Important Americans if they don’t receive at least one envelope containing white powder.

* Apparently the latest attempt by auto makers to sell us cars with no interest stems from the fact that the buying public already has it: no interest.

* Washington politicians are taking the anthrax threats in their stride — accustomed as they are to dealing with angry, violence-prone constituents.

* If the terrorists really wanted to get Americans’ attention, they’d stop horsing around with anthrax and try to fix the outcome of the World Series.

* Gov. Holden places guards at the state Capitol but it won’t be effective until they shoot all lobbyists on sight.