Missouriana

*A skillful legislator is one who publicly supports campaign fund limits and privately schedules several $1,000-per-plate dinners before a vote on the measure is taken.

*Sometimes the state doesn’t take advantage of opportunities, such as the failure of Missouri to locate an auto shock factory to meet the demand from our bumpy highways.

*Irony runs deep in Missouri politics. For example, legislators bemoan the lack of wage increases for state workers while making sure there’s enough cash to pay their own hikes.

*Who can doubt the existence of Divine Guidance after the bear stock market wiped out all those plans to privatize Social Security?

*A question remaining unanswered since the Founding Fathers is how anyone really knows the number of citizens who weren’t counted in the census.

*American market experts would rank right behind those from Lower Slobovia after disclosure they consistently bought high-tech stocks that were priced over 100 times earnings.

*Today’s educators consider they have had a good year if test scores are average and no students are shot.