Missouriana

Quips by Jack Stapleton, Jr.

*George W. has learned that the trouble with promising to name a Cabinet member of the opposite party is you don’t get credit for it if no one ever heard of him.

*Missouri’s new governor, Bob Holden, follows George W.’s practice and names a Republican to his staff but fails to get credit because many thought she was a Democrat anyway.

*Democrats and Republicans in the Missouri Senate are fighting over who will “control” the upper chamber. Doesn’t everyone know there is no control in the Missouri Senate?

*Employment tip for Al Gore: there’s about to be a vacancy for a college presidency – if you don’t mind relocating to Bob Jones University.

*Taxpayers can only hope opposition in the General Assembly against pouring public tax money into a new Cardinal ball field is better than the defense of the St. Louis Rams.

*Some are speculating that the bitter weather the country has been having can be traced to Democrats saying it would be a cold day in hell when voters elected George W.

*The problem with being a former felon or a politician seeking re-election is that in either case you have a record.