Missouriana

Quips by Jack Stapleton, Jr.

*Americans knew they had achieved the status of Disinterested Citizen when they began realizing they no longer cared who won in Florida.

*The difference between an Invalid Chad and a Pregnant Chad appears to be much more precise than the one distinguishing false pregnancy and indigestion.

*Even if loyal Republicans barely kept control of Congress, they at least have the satisfaction of knowing they now have Hillary to kick around.

*Those aspiring to become network news commentators should be warned of the painful occupational hazard of having egg removed from their faces after wrong election-night returns.

*An old-timer is someone who remembers when “Going to Florida” meant taking a vacation. More recently it has meant “Getting the latest vote recount.”

*Views on abolishing the present voting system seem to correspond to whether someone’s favorite presidential candidate won the popular or the electoral college count.

*Who says collegiate football isn’t dangerous? MU Coach Larry Smith was sacked before he even had time to huddle.