Missouriana

by Jack Stapleton, Jr.

*The performance given by the two presidential candidates in their first debate must have provided a great deal of comfort to Dan Quayle and Michael Dukakis.

*Televised presidential debates are all right, but some who watched kept waiting for Regis Philbin to pop out of the wings and ask, “Is that your final answer?”

*After watching nearly 100 minutes of political debates, voters may wonder why anyone thought this forum would be a good way to inform the public.

*Market experts suggest Wall Street is in a state of flux because of the Bush-Gore campaign. It would really be in a panic if the candidates were Pat Buchanan and Ralph Nader.

*If presidential debates are supposed to be decisive, how come supporters of both Gore and Bush thought their man won?

*You should worry about fraud if you’re still getting telephone calls soliciting contributions for the McCain and Bradley campaigns.