The stain on America that won’t go away

by Jack Stapleton Jr.

The statistics have been getting minimally better in recent years, but the latest facts are hardly reassuring. In calendar year 1997, 43,600 marriages were performed in our state, which translates into a rate of 8.1 for every 1,000 residents as compared to a national rate of 8.9 for every 1,000.

Even though the percentage of Missourians tying the knot is reasonably close to the national norm, statistics show that as a percentage of total population, fewer of us are still opting to be permanent partners. The current figures don’t seem to point to the demise of marital-status preference, but it’s still difficult to know what is causing the overall decline.

The second alarming fact borne out by the National Data Book is the continuously excessive divorce rate in our state and the nation as a whole. For every 100 marriages in Missouri, there are 58 divorces. So, when the falling numbers of marriages and the high percentage of divorces are factored together, an honest appraisal of life in America is not as tranquil as it may seem to the casual observer. The one good fact to emerge from these Bureau of Census states is the one showing the rate of divorces in our state going down, however slightly. It may be this .4 percent decline is about all we have to cheer about, which in itself is disquieting.

Lacking the credentials of a sociologist, I’m certainly not qualified to explain why fewer of us are getting married and why the divorce rate has practically gone off the charts. Goodness knows, it’s not a new trend. This marriage-and-divorce cycle has been going on for years, seemingly oblivious to all the theological, sociological and political scorn that has been heaped upon it. It’s reasonably safe to assume that when scolded for their lack of commitment or lack of judgment or indifference to the dictates of most world religions, the perpetrators vow to do better in the future.

In the meantime, however, we are beginning to feel the effects of not only our diminished acceptance of marital commitment but, perhaps as importantly, the effects of the disintegration of family life, the obdurate consequences of subculture poverty and the threatening spiral of juvenile crime. These consequences are not minimal. We are experiencing their effects in both small and large communities, in our educational systems, and in the loss of what Tocqueville called “the remarkable conscience of a people who have pursued their dream of a stable, responsible and potentially powerful influence on their daily lives and their pursuit of a democratic government.”

Has the frightening convolution between marriage and divorce threatened our society? We’ll have to leave that to the experts, but many of us are convinced the breakup of the traditional family has contributed to untold consequences, none of them enhancing what we like to call the American Way of Life, however corny that phrase may seem to cynics.

Did you happen to take a close look at the young and not-so-young people who were engaged in demonstrating outside the Republican and Democratic national conventions recently? There were countless groups protesting all manner of countless evils in our society. Whether they wanted us to adopt their plans for saving the environment or swear off genetically enhanced foodstuffs or kill all police officers who raise a finger against armed thugs, they seemed as certain of their cause as the politicians inside the convention halls. My simpatico for these rioting hordes ended when they threatened to kill a poor country reporter from Missouri back in 1968.

America has long been a nation of stalwart believers. No one should apologize for this, since their presence has helped secure our basic freedoms and our way of life. Having just read the latest divorce totals, I wondered as I watched the rebellious crowds how many came from broken homes and how many came from families that were still intact and functional. I have no way to know, but those who would destroy our culture seem to have little regard for the orderly process of a democracy and less respect for its essential rules.

Maybe our national priority should be how to counteract the decline of the American family and seek ways to bolster the institutions that help preserve it. Wouldn’t this conceivably be more important to all America than whether we elect a Republican or Democrat our next president?

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