Quips by Jack Stapleton, Jr.


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Quips by Jack Stapleton, Jr.

*Ex-senator Danforth says he’s happy he wasn’t chosen for vice president, after he recalled what happened to the last Show-Me senator who won the Democratic “prize” back in 1972.

*Gov. George W. Bush is making a commendable effort to protect the health of Dick Cheney, who has suffered three heart attacks, by giving him a rest as vice president.

*In an effort to bolster viewer interest in their proceedings, officials of both parties considered calling their Philadelphia and Los Angeles conventions “Survivor II.”

*Republicans decided to meet in Philadelphia because it was the city chosen 100 years ago. Besides, if any are still laying around, they can use the same platform promises.

*One problem for the Gore campaign is that before getting in politics he was a crime reporter, which should have been warning enough abut the world he was going to enter.

*Whenever Democrats raise more campaign money than Republicans, the GOP starts wondering whether its efforts to cut taxes are really and truly appreciated by the fat-cats.

*A fair assessment of Gore’s campaign promises is: Another Clinton administration without soiled women or dresses.