Quips by Jack Stapleton, Jr.
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Missouriana
*In the event Democrats reject Al Gore or Republicans snub George W. Bush, there’s always Harry Potter.
*Between “Survivor” and “Big Brother,” contemporary life in America hovers somewhere between roasted rats and televised bathrooms. Welcome to the new millennium!
*Missouri’s major highways have gotten in such bad shape that the only possible solution seems to be to stop all out-of-state traffic at the border.
*President Clitnon wants to leave a legacy of peace in the Middle East. To get the feel of the process, he could warm-up on Capitol Hill.
*The last test of the Pentagon’s $63 billion missile-defense program was a failure. As the old saying goes, “There’s no such thing as a free launch.”
*Voters are getting more political commentary from Jay Leno and David Letterman than from Bush and Gore. More informative, too.
*A modern medical specialist is the doctor who can distinguish the difference between a patient’s cough from ozone and cigarettes.