No lion, they’re cultivating them! Ain’t that just dande?

By Denny Banister

Growing up in St. Louis, I was envious of Hotch, my friend next door. Like me, Hotch had the responsibility of mowing the lawn. Unlike me, Hotch’s dad took the lawn care process to a new high – he actually paid Hotch a penny for every dandelion plucked.

I was not paid for dandelions. I had to struggle with a wooden-handled digging tool with a notch at the tip of the blade that supposedly pulled the weed from the ground, roots and all. It did not! Hotch simply snipped the stem of the dandelion blossom with kitchen scissors.

Hotch’s dad was only interested in results. He did not want to see a yard full of yellow when he came home from work. Hotch’s yard was green in the morning when his dad left for work, a sea of yellow by noon, and green again in the evening when his dad came home.

The next day, new blossoms would appear, and Hotch was back at it, snipping dandelions with scissors at a penny a plant and counting his profits. Hotch had a prospering dandelion scam.

While a penny doesn’t sound like much today, in the 1950s a penny bought some quality candy. For just one dandelion, Hotch could get a peppermint or cinnamon stick, a large piece of bubble gum like Bazooka or Double Bubble, or a package of Lickem-Aide.

For two dandelions, Hotch could buy a Tootsie Roll Pop. For five dandelions, he could buy baseball trading cards with bubble gum, or a pink bubble gum cigar with the name ‘El Bubble’ on the paper cigar ring. For 10 dandelions, Hotch could buy a Switzers licorice bar or Chuckles gum drop squares. Snip, snip, snip – candy, candy, candy! It was disgusting!

My struggle with dandelions continued into adulthood. My yard is the one the rest of the neighbors whisper about; the one responsible for seeding the entire neighborhood with dandelions. In an effort to get rid of them once and for all, I decided to cut my lawn extra-short to keep the dandelions down.

But those yellow demons adapted. Soon they bloomed with the flower right down on the ground, under my lowered lawn mower blade. At day’s end, my grass was nice and short with an ocean of ping-pong ball sized white dandelion seedpods swaying in the summer breeze.

Ultimately, I resorted to spraying. Hooray, success! Sweet, glorious success!

Now I read dandelions are more than weeds – restaurants are actually serving them in salads and recipes as a ‘super-vegetable’ with high nutrient qualities. The U.S. Department of Agriculture reports dandelions are now farmed commercially in New Jersey, California, Texas and Ohio.

I would not be surprised to discover Hotch at the helm of a dandelion empire by now, wintering at his mansion in the Bahamas and eating dandelion salads (instead of penny candy). Meanwhile, there is not a sign of one of the little yellow, moneymakers in my entire yard.

Editor’s note: Denny Banister of Jefferson City, is assistant director of information and public relations for the Missouri Farm Bureau.