Quips by Jack Stapleton, Jr.
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Missouriana
*Public health officials urge Missourians to recognize the difference between the common cold and flu. With a cold, you think you may die -with the flu you’re afraid you won’t.
*Isn’t there at least one computer that will tell us whether the $500 billion spent to cure the Y2K bug was absolutely necessary?
*Numerous candidates who are quick to promise tax cuts during campaigns must later undergo intensive post-election treatment for foot-in-the-mouth disease.
*The early evening hours were formerly called television’s prime time. With the advent of numerous police shows, now it’s known as TV’s crime time.
*David Letterman undergoes a triple heart bypass after Hillary visited his TV show, evoking a certain new sympathy for her husband.
*A pretty good sign that February is not far away is the arrival of the kids’ Christmas gifts ordered last November from Toys R Us.
*Cellular phones in cars don’t kill people – motorists who try to drive with no hands do.