Quips and quirks of the Show-Me State.
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by Jack Stapleton, Jr.
* If Gov. George W. Bush wants to shed the dummy image, he should adopt George Senior’s strategy and name Dan Quayle his running mate.
* Hillary moves out of the White House, confirming the suspicion she prefers spending her future with the Senate Majority Leader rather than the president of the United States.
* Missourians continue to debate how to divide the expected $6.7 billion tobacco company settlement. Smokers haven’t made their views known due to excessive coughing.
* Campaign strategists are still looking for a better retort by John McCain when questioned about his hot temper than “Step aside and say that.”
* GOP officials plan to offer Gov. Carnahan a way to make life easier by giving him the opportunity to retire on his farm near Rolla after the November election.
* It’s difficult to have confidence in technology when calling an 800 number to learn what steps to take to survive the Y2K fiasco and then spending the next hour on “Hold.”
* An old-timer is someone who walks over to his neighbor’s home for a visit rather than chat with him by e-mail.