Dogs in heaven?

by Joe Snyder

I grew up with many pets. Of all the cats and dogs I had over the years, there are two I remember the most. One was “Lindy,” named for Charles A. Lindbergh, the first to fly a plane across the Atlantic; the second was “Copper,” who was named for his color and became well known because of the columns I wrote about this wonderful friend.

So it was with great interest I noted a very important issue has been brought to the public’s attention. The magazine Dog Fancy is raising a philosophical query that has bothered people for centuries: “Do Dogs Go to Heaven?”

To get an answer the magazine called upon the cast of a million jokes — a priest, a rabbi and a minister. Also a Buddhist, a Baptist, as well as Mary Buddemeyer, author of “Will I See Fido in Heaven?” These distinguished appointees immediately began scrapping like puppies fighting over a bone.

The Washington Post reported the Rev. Brian McSweeney, vice-chancellor of the Catholic Archdiocese of New York, began the arguments when he said: “Heaven was designed for humans. Dogs may be there, but only because of their relationship with humans.”

Interviewer Judith Jackson couldn’t let that slip by unchallenged: “Would a dog have to have a connection with a human to get to heaven?”

McSweeney responded: “If there is a dog on a desert island, and no one knew it, will it go to heaven? I don’t know.”

Rabbi Gershon Winkler of Cuba, New Mexico, did: “The deserted island dog is eligible for heaven — but only if he is a good dog. Every animal, based on how it lived in this world, will reap its reward.”

“That’s ridiculous,” said Rev. Andrew Linzey, professor of theology at the University of Nottingham in England. “The idea that animals can make moral choices and should be held responsible for their actions is absurd.”

Buddemeyer agreed. “Dogs will go to heaven regardless of their behavior on earth. It doesn’t make any difference what dogs do because they are innocent of any sin.”

Stephen Webb, author of “On God and Dogs” believes dogs are a shoo-in. “A dog is an animal that has sacrificed its bestial nature and entered into a relationship of loving mutuality. For me it is obvious and theologically essential that animals will go to heaven. Indeed, the important question is, how many humans will go to heaven in view of their sinful, faithless and violent behavior?”

This discussion is fascinating. As much as I love animals, I would hate to think that once I, hopefully, get to Heaven, I would see dogs chasing cats, or some big St. Bernard sniffing someone’s crotch. What kind of a heaven will it be if a Rottweiler with garbage breath wants to play ball?

Today pet advertising offers “Acupressure/Laser-puncture massage for dogs, and another advertisement suggests your dog accompany you to therapy “to provide the support you need to begin talking about your problems, your grief, your fears, your feelings…”

Old Lindy and Copper, and all those other pets I had, know I love and miss them a lot, but I guess I never really expected to see them again. I must give this subject a lot of thought.