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The ‘New’ Buy a Politician Plan

by Freida Marie Crump

PooseyDigest_WPGreetings from Poosey.

The average Joe on the street doesn’t know much about the Supreme Court and I have feeling that’s just dandy with the justices who sit there. We know that they line up once a year for a picture where they closely resemble the judges at a dill pickle contest, and they look like none of them have ever worked for Meals on Wheels.

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Talking Inanimately

by Freida Marie Crump

PooseyDigest_WPGreetings from Poosey.

I walked in on my friend June this week. She didn’t answer the door but this is Poosey… you just walk in. I thought I heard her voice in the back of the house so I assumed she had visitors, but when I walked into her den she was alone… talking. One woman sitting in a chair talking.

I knew that June was

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The Right Way to Do It

by Freida Marie Crump

PooseyDigest_WPGreetings from Poosey.

It takes very little these days for Herb to get himself into a royal snit and last week he was snitting full-bore as we stood in the checkout lane of the grocery store. The lady ahead of him had her hands full, both of groceries and children, and a goodly-sized line had backed up behind her as she carefully laid out a row

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Where’s the Party?

by Freida Marie Crump

PooseyDigest_WPGreetings from Poosey.

I’m ready for a party. Oh, I know that living in this most blessed of nations it’s hard to say that we deserve anything, but dog-gone it, after living through a winter like we’ve just endured I think we’ve earned the right to treat ourselves to a shindig. Print up the t-shirts proclaiming, “I survived the winter of 2014!” Break out the champagne

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We’re Losing Our Characters

PooseyDigest_WPGreetings from Poosey.

Lillian Ferguson was a flibberjibbet. No other word for it. When I was a young girl growing up in Poosey, Lillian provided hours of pleasure and amusement for the neighborhood by simply being herself. She was the most innocently audacious woman I’d ever met and she reached the zenith of her idiocy when she’d hang her underwear on the clothesline.

Most folks in those days still used

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Time Marches Onward

by Freida Marie Crump

PooseyDigest_WPGreetings from Poosey.

Some women marry partners. I married Herb. I said, “Herbie, I think this calls for a celebration!”

“Of what?”

“Thirty years! This makes 30 years for the Poosey Digest!”

“I agree. The Black Plague only lasted four and didn’t do near as much damage.”

“Herb!”

“The Great Chicago Fire only went for three days.”

“Herb!”

“And some of them were insured. Your column

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The Heroes of Winter

by Freida Marie Crump

PooseyDigest_WPGreetings from Poosey.

I’m sure you’ve been there. You sit in the store’s parking lot, the temperature hovering somewhere between chilling and killing as you try to summon up the courage to get out of the car and make a break for the automatic doors. You gauge the distance and wonder if you can dash all the way to the store without breathing, knowing that the

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The Noisiest Birdbrains

by Freida Marie Crump

PooseyDigest_WPGreetings from Poosey.

In the annals of the great romantics, you won’t find the name of Herb Crump listed anywhere, and when it comes to sentimentality he doesn’t even rate a footnote. We always try to buy each other a little something for Valentine’s Day  and as we’ve aged our gift exchange has turned from roses and chocolates to support hose and thermal socks. But this

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Handheld Doesn’t Automatically Connect

by Freida Marie Crump

PooseyDigest_WPGreetings from Poosey.

If you’ve spent any time around little girls you’ve seen it happen. Four little sweethearts and three of them own the same sort of doll. They bring them to school or church or the playground on the same day and although they don’t mean to leave out little Suzie who doesn’t own such a doll, she’s excluded. No one’s being mean, not a

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