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Poosey Digest: On a scale of one to…

 Greetings from Poosey.

Complain about your phone service all you want, my phone company loves me! I know this because they told me so…sort of.

My old cell phone company went out of business due to old poops like me who refused to upgrade to the new touch phones so I was forced to switch to a new carrier and within three days they called me:

“Hello, Mrs. Crump. I’m

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Poosey Digest: Capture and kill it

Greetings from Poosey.

The woman was a dithering mess, the victim of a full-scale panic attack. Her little girl was singing a solo in church and no one in the family had a camera to record the event. Mama came just short of cancelling the entire service until someone ran home to get a cell phone camera to capture little Maggie’s rendition of “Amazing Grace.” And since she was Methodist,

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Poosey Digest: Speaking of success

Greetings from Poosey.

It says something about either the commencement speaker or my attention span to tell you that the only thing I remember about my high school graduation is the temperature in the gymnasium… and the woolen graduation gowns. I remember the wool. Today’s plastic commencement costumes breathe a bit and don’t stick so readily to the backs of sweaty 17-year-olds.

One more thing: I remember our high school

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Poosey Digest: Getting to know us

Greetings from Poosey.

I’m only writing this for two people, but you’re welcome to listen in. Barack Obama and Mitt Romney both intend to become our President in November and in the coming months both will claim to speak for Middle America. That’s fine. I mean, they should speak for small town USA, but before you can pretend to speak for me, it’d be good to know who I am.

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Poosey Digest: Prom priorities

Greetings from Poosey.

Jeff Washburn was one of the finest young men to come out of our local high school. Intelligent, witty, and caring aren’t words necessarily associated with teenagers, but Jeff was the sort of boy whom everyone would have gladly adopted as their own son.

Jeff’s family was far from affluent and when it came time for college it was his hard work alone that secured enough scholarship

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Poosey Digest: An uncommon hero

Greetings from Poosey.

At the risk of sounding un-American and giving up my season pass, I’ve got to say it: professional athletes bore me.  When Tiger Woods talks about his life being rough while sitting on a net worth of $500 million, mostly as a result of product endorsements, I have trouble summoning up a tear. As Kobi Brant nuzzles up to his $140 million while Alex Rodriguez takes in

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Poosey Digest: Digest this gas attack

Greetings from Poosey.

We all get terribly patriotic when it’s to our economic advantage to do so, and I’m no exception.  I never thought about it being my partisan duty to save on gasoline until the price reached the four-buck mark, but now I’m suddenly hit with a slap of Americanism.

I quickly researched every possible way of saving on my fuel costs and found the list depressing:

The

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Poosey Digest: Just returning your call

Greetings from Poosey.

I won’t swear to the veracity of this conversation, but if Rupert Murdoch tapped into the phone lines of heaven I wonder if he might have heard the following:

“Lord? You up yet this morning?”

“I neither slumber nor sleep, Pete. Stop fooling around.”

(I have no idea how Saint Peter figures into so many of these conversations. It may all go back to jokes started in

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Poosey Digest: The names we choose

Greetings from Poosey.

Some of the finest restaurants in the South now feature a new item on their menus. It’s a delicious, somewhat lean fish called Silverfin. Move upstream a bit to Kentucky and you’ll find the Bluegrass State gourmets feasting on Kentucky Tuna. Several world-renowned chefs were hired just to make this new entry into the dining world a highly sought item.

Move north a bit further and you’ll

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